Domestic Violence

I recently heard about the death of someone I had known for many years, and was told they had committed suicide.

That knowledge is horrible in itself, but what is even worse is what led to it.

This girl had problems - let's face it, it is not uncommon. But she had more than most. And her biggest problem was that she was the victim of domestic abuse.

Having never been in this situation myself, I find it hard to understand why a woman would go back again and again to a partner who abused them. I know there are psychological issues at work here - like self worth, self confidence. People have a way of putting others down so they no longer value themselves.

There are supposed to be systems in place to protect victims of domestic abuse. And they do have their limits. After all, what can places like Women's Refuge do if a woman keeps going back to their abusive partner.

But others have their role to play too. The law allows for protection orders, but where is that protection when we need it? What I fail to understand is, why are these orders not enforced if they're breached time and time again?

We have a huge problem of domestic violence in this country. Yet we always seem to be the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff, rather than the top. Money and other resources is always put into shelters for victims of domestic violence (and this in no way excludes male victims), but in a lot of cases, this is too late.

Why are we not preventing domestic violence to begin with? Why are we not putting more effort into uncovering the issues of why and how this happens? Yes, it would take a lot of resources, but there are far too many families that fall into a vicious cycle of generational abuse. They either become victims themselves or become the abusers. We have to break this cycle.

There is no excuse for this kind of violence. No one should ever feel unsafe in their own home with their own family.

No one.