Dating

I haven't dated in so long ... actually, I don't think I've ever really dated. Pathetic much? Is what I can hear Buffy saying. I've been watching Buffy again and of course the first episode mentions the 'd' word. I'm a bit like Willow in that I really don't know what to say to a guy. It shouldn't be that way. I grew up with an older brother. But I didn't get out much as a teenager.

Now that I'm much much older I wonder what is out there for someone my age who isn't really into drinking. The only places where people seem to congregate are bars and well, it doesn't feel like my kind of place. That's the thing about Auckland. It has a great night life, if you like clubbing, which I don't.

I have this friend, who is married now, who used to go out clubbing a lot. She's in her twenties while I'm 30-mumble and I feel like a grandma next to her. My friend would drink. A lot. I guess there's nothing wrong with it, as long as it's not binge drinking. And I don't think she went that far. But she would always go to this one particular club. Occasionally, I would somehow find myself dragged there. It's noisy and it's crowded and the music really isn't to my taste. People go to this club to dance. Which is all very well, if you want to feel like a sardine.

I like dancing. I'm not particularly good at it, but I do like to dance. To music that I can listen to. Music that I can sing along with. I wonder, does that make me a snob? Personally, and oh dear, I can hear Rupert Giles (Buffy again) in my head, saying, "It's not music, it's just noise", the music that they play at these clubs is mostly just screaming or bass which just gives me a headache.

So what are my choices? Join a club? Only what kind of club? Writing? At best, writing is a solitary exercise. You can share it with others, which I do online and I get a lot of pleasure out of seeing someone else enjoy that writing. And I'm not particularly athletic. So no sports club for me.

I remember seeing an item once about a Film Club, although this was in my hometown. I love movies. I don't go often enough for my liking, but discussing, say, Harry Potter and its relationship (or lack thereof) to post-modernism really isn't my cup of tea.

Hmm, this merits investigation. More on this next week.

Single in the City

Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be. For one thing, you can never get the right quantity of food, especially if you're only shopping for one night. This week, I moved into a new place. Right now, I don't have a fridge, or a freezer. That's about to be changed, but I have to wait a week. Anyway, long story short, our supermarkets don't cater for the singlies. They no longer have butchers who will provide you with exactly the right amount of meat you require. It's either buy the pre-packaged food or go without.

I ranted, and I complained about the lack of service. There are a few people in the same boat as me, who have a budget and cannot afford to buy the big packs of meat only to have to waste it. Maybe it isn't cost effective for the big supermarket chain, but you have little choice when the closest store to you is the big chain and there are no smaller stores.

I remember many, many years ago going to my friendly neighbourhood butcher with my parents and them buying the meat they needed. And the butcher was always this lovely, big guy with a warm, friendly smile for a shy little kid who would hand me a cheerio (that's a small cooked sausage) with a wink. We are talking over thirty years ago (ah, memories!) and my, how things have changed.

I work in customer service. It's supposed to be a pit stop on the way to fame and fortune (well, I can dream, can't I?). Despite that fact, I do actually care about good service. I've seen both sides of the story and I believe in providing the best service I can. The workers in the supermarkets are bound by the policy of their managers, franchise owners. I get that. But they could at least care. Having said that, after I complained and ranted, and generally showed how peeved I was, they did care enough to help me out. Good for them. I apologised for ranting in the end but they could see how frustrated I was, so I guess it all worked out in the end.

Anyway, back to my sad state of singledom. And the biggest problem is how expensive everything is. I pay rent, on my own. I pay my power and phone bill. On my own. And when you have a strict budget, it isn't exactly easy trying to manage it all.

I have friends who aren't single. They have someone to go out with, go places with. Someone to share things with. Someone to hold them and rub their back at the end of a long day at work when your back and shoulders are killing you.

Well, I suppose there is one consolation. At least I have my bubble bath! Bliss! Speaking of which ...