Bullying

It's a subject that has come up in the news most recently and it seems to be happening on a far more frequent basis. Not only that it seems to have taken a nastier turn.

One of the articles connected to bullying has been this new App which is apparently available, and has become popular. The Ugly App. Well, quite frankly, the creators of this App need to be shot. There are enough issues of self-esteem out there for kids and this thing opens people up to a whole variety of bullying potential.

I know what most would say. It's only meant to be in fun. Sure, that's all well and good, and it is fun. Until someone 'loses an eye' to use a cliche. This thing is not fun if it gauges a person's level of 'ugliness'. Coming from someone who has spent much of their life thinking they are ugly, this App just seems, well, not just wrong, but potentially extremely harmful.

And that takes me back to bullying. I know how hard it was growing up being bullied. Let's face it, I was small and skinny for my age and that left me open to the bullies who liked to pick on someone more vulnerable. It is very true that I was too sensitive, and yes, I have been known to be nice, but damn it, why the hell should I stop being 'nice' just to prevent my being bullied. What is wrong with being nice and courteous and respectful toward others and expecting that in return?

It's been well-documented since social media like Facebook became popular that there are people out there who are using these accounts to 'cyber-bully' another person. And that cyber-bullying has led to horrific consequences. It is something I am afraid I will never understand. Why do people feel the need to put others down and make their lives a misery? Do they really think they're better than that person?

I know what I've been told in the past. There's the usual psycho-babble about how bullies are just projecting their own inadequacies on others. So what? Does that make what they do right? Or understandable? And trying to stand up to them makes little difference. They'll just move on to someone else. And that's just as bad.

I've often seen articles on children being bullied and schools doing nothing about it, or turning a blind eye. Well, it's time to take action. There are far too many children out there growing up with extreme issues of self-confidence and self-esteem and the authorities allowing it to happen is only creating a bigger problem.

Stop the bullying! It's time people stopped sitting on the fence on this issue. They cannot keep blaming poor socialisation, or poverty or even abuse by a parent to excuse this behaviour. These are just symptoms of a kid's life. There are large numbers of kids who have the same experiences. It doesn't make them bullies.

Auckland

Auckland is at fever pitch, and it is likely to be for the next two months.



It's the Rugby World Cup. And for the life of me, I cannot muster any enthusiasm about it.



I see the flags going up at work to support various countries and all I can do is roll my eyes.


We have a sweepstake going at work, but I refuse to join in. Not just because I know I won't win anything, but because it just isn't my cup of tea.



Yes, I will join in a sweepstake for the Melbourne Cup. But then again, I've grown up with a father who was into horse racing in a big way and while I used to roll my eyes at that too, I would still enjoy a day out at the races, if only because that meant hot dogs on a stick.



I know I'm not a sports-minded person, but you'd think I'd be into it because of the publicity it's giving our little old New Zealand.



But I guess I'm of the glass half-empty persuasion, because all I see is increased traffic, disruptions to public transport and noise. Lots of noise.



I'm a quiet sort. I grew up in one of our smaller cities and I still prefer that than the big city. I've lived in Auckland for eight and a half years and I will never consider myself an Aucklander, or a JAFA as people used to call them. The term is slightly derogatory.



I once had an argument with a work colleague who had lived in Auckland all his life. He hated it when anyone said anything negative about Auckland. Especially those who have never lived here. Like my father. His experience of Auckland was a day trip to MOTAT or passing through on the motorway on the way to somewhere else. He hated Auckland and he frequently said so. My colleague had a point. How can someone say they hate this city if they've never lived here?



Well, now that I've lived here, I can safely say I have enough experience to judge. And I still dislike Auckland.



When I first moved to Auckland, I had a car and lived out West Auckland, working and studying in town. My first day on the motorway, I clung to that steering wheel for dear life, staring straight ahead. I was terrified of changing lanes and just as terrified that I would get lost. I soon gave up driving in favour of taking public transport. It should have been a lot less stressful, except for the kamikaze speed demons they used to call bus drivers in this city.



One of the big issues I have with this city is the traffic. I just started cycling to work. It's a good thirty to forty minutes, depending on which way I take and all I can say is, it's a good thing it's fairly early in the morning, like 7am, because coming home, the traffic is the worst.



I used to cycle every day. Back when I was a lot slimmer and a lot fitter. Although some would say I was far too skinny. But I would cycle from my home to university, and this was a good 8-10km ride. Each way. So it was no wonder I was skinny.



I'm terribly unfit and my reflexes are incredibly bad. So why am I risking life and limb to cycle in busy traffic? Hmm, allow me to ponder that one. All I can hope for is to keep going until I get a good level of fitness and I might just feel a bit better about cycling in this city. One can only hope.

Erebus Anniversary

Thirty years ago this year, New Zealand had its worst air tragedy. On November 28, 1979, a DC-3 crashed into the side of Mt Erebus on Antarctica. All those on board were lost. They either died on impact, or burned in the resulting fire, or froze to death.

A couple of years ago I interviewed a former police officer who was one of those sent to help identify the bodies (and body parts) of the dead. Some of them could not be identified. The carnage he described was just horrifying.

Yet, thirty years later, it is still the most talked about event in New Zealand's recent past, because no one really knows what happened that day.

The trip over Mt Erebus was a sightseeing one for the passengers. There is still footage of those last few moments before the crash. It was a special occasion. There has never been another one since - I suppose the airline was afraid of it happening again.

What did cause the crash? Was it whiteout, bad navigation, pilot error? Who knows? The commission of enquiry into it at first blamed the pilot. The fact is, there is just too much we don't know about what happened.

A few weeks ago, there was an item on a current affairs show where two police officers described a notebook which had entries from the pilot. That notebook did show up at the enquiry, but not intact. Several pages of notes were missing. What happened to those notes, I wonder? Was there something incriminating in them?

Sadly, this is a mystery that may never be solved. And I feel for those left behind still questioning what happened and why their loved ones died. Most especially for the pilot's family, as he will never be able to defend himself.

I read a few days ago that a businessman had decided to offer a trip to Mt Erebus for the families, but at a cost, of course. I understand he's a businessman, but this was a tragic event for those concerned. It's a little bit like those who wanted to raise the Titanic many years ago. Is there a point to going? Maybe we should just let the dead rest in peace.

It's odd that I feel so strongly about this. I never knew anyone who was on that plane, or who lost a family member. But last week, while my mother was being admitted for surgery at a private hospital, I saw that a former member of the hospital board was killed at Erebus. And it gave me an odd feeling. Part of it is that, and this will sound really weird, but my mother believes she dreamed about the event before it happened. She has never had a dream like it since, but she has often described that dream to me in detail, of people looking out the windows. She didn't realise the significance of the dream until after the tragedy. And my mother is no crackpot. She genuinely believes she foresaw this event in her dreams.

I hope one day the answer to this mystery will be found, especially for those who lost loved ones.