Dating

Online dating to be exact.

We've all seen the ads in Facebook and other online sites. Everywhere we go.

Do they work? Hmm, I will reserve judgment on that.

My issue with these sites is most of them expect you to pay up if you want to read your messages. Only most of them don't say that until after you've signed up. Or maybe I'm reading them wrong?

Anyway, sorry guys, but I don't have the kind of money you're asking for. Call me a cheapskate but I'm not going to pay out megabucks for something I'm not even sure is going to work. I've heard one too many disaster stories.

So, if you can't use online dating, what other options are there? Speed dating? Dinner for Six (or Eight). And when you're kind of a social hermit, like me, those sorts of things seem pretty daunting.

The thing that gets me about these kinds of blind date arrangements is, no one acts like who they really are. And forget the online dating profiles. How many of them are really all that genuine? I know from experience that if I'm honest, my profile will get zero responses.

Let's examine this for a moment. Here's the way I'd like my profile to read:

Hi there,

I'm a geek and proud of it. I love to read, take walks along the beach, and okay, I don't see myself as all that gorgeous. I'm certainly no supermodel in my eyes. But as they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul and I would hope that my eyes say that my soul is gentle and my heart is pure. I laugh at the strangest things, I have a self-deprecating sense of humour and I am interested in all things intellectual. I can be serious and moody, but when I love, I love with all my heart.

Now, be honest. If you read that, and you were male, would you ask me out or immediately dismiss me?

So my online profile on a dating site doesn't say anything like that. And still I can't seem to attract the right guy.

And you're probably wondering. Who is my Mr Perfect?

Well, let's clear up that little notion for a start. There is no such thing as Mr Perfect. There is Mr Almost Perfect, Mr Not Quite Perfect. But no Mr Perfect.

Let's face it. Every guy has his faults. So does every girl. I'm definitely not Ms Perfect. As I said above, I can be moody. I'm messy. And I'm hopeless at being social. I need to be pushed into these things.

So who is my ideal guy? Well, I will tell you this. A few years ago I was watching an animal hospital program on tv. And there was this one story about a guy who came in with his puppy. She'd been hurt. He'd been painting on a ladder when the paint bucket had dropped. I don't know if it was full or what. But the bucket had dropped on the puppy. And the guy was bawling his eyes out because he'd accidentally hurt the puppy. That to me is pretty close to my ideal guy. Someone who loves animals.

So I'm throwing my question out there to the universe. Please help me find my guy.